While I was pregnant, I obsessed over every detail of Michael’s nursery – from the fabric of the changing pad covers, to the colours of the pom pom garland, to the careful curation of posters which would decorate the wall. I spent the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy happily adjusting the drape of said pom pom garland and fussing over the precise placement of the nursing chair vis-a-vis the changing table. Because I’m crazy that way.
And here we are, seven months in.
Where’s the pom pom garland you ask? It’s awkwardly hanging off the chest of drawers in the corner – you’ll see it in a bit. Excited? It’s ok if you’re not!
Anyway, let’s talk sleeping arrangements – a.k.a. why the nursery looks like crap these days. Because getting a seven month old to sleep is tricky business. Let me break it down for you:
1) Swaddle acting as a partial tent covering. To prevent Michael from getting directly blasted by the air conditioning at night. Why not just move the crib out of the way, you ask? Because the temperature would then be precisely three degrees too warm, causing uncomfortable perspiration for our little guy whenever he “cries down” in his crib. The tent set-up keeps things cool but not drafty.
2) Random towels/swaddles/bedsheets covering up the sides of the crib. Pegged together to prevent Michael from tearing it all down in a rage.
Because God forbid he catch a glimpse of us, or the glow of the nightlight, or a passing housefly, while he’s trying to sleep. If there’s any action going on beyond the four walls of his crib, he wants in on it, because sleep is totally for losers. I have no idea what we’re going to do once he can stand up on his own. Build an actual tent?
3) Ugly bumper held up by string. Yeah, hazard upon hazard. If you look carefully in the picture above, you can see the thin white line of the string which ties to the top of the crib. Michael’s specialty is bumping. He’s too huge and ill-coordinated and thrashy not to bump, and he doesn’t like hitting the naked crib rails. I mean, neither would I. It’s ugly because it was $15 and bought under urgent circumstances, and I always had half a mind to replace it but with all the crazy tentage going on anyway, I don’t care no more.
4) More random towels/swaddles/bedsheets covering up the nightlight.
Michael doesn’t like sleeping in total darkness, but if it’s too bright, he thinks it’s play time. So we stuck the nightlight in the corner of our ex-changing table, threw 5 sheets on top of it, and then draped another two sheets over the entire table for a perfectly calibrated soft lighting effect.
5) Bolster and pillow.
Ok so this is actually kind of cute. The bolster is usually placed at the head end for a soft landing, because he migrates upwards through the night. More importantly – the pillow. It has saved many a night waking. It’s always the first thing we check on if he wakes up crying – does Michael have his pillow? Give him his pillow. He likes waving it about and rubbing it into his face and chewing on the corners. All adorable baby stuff.
6) Yet another random sheet jammed up in the door gap.
A rather desperate attempt to muffle sounds from within the house – desperate because it doesn’t really work, but I like to think that it does. He doesn’t sleep with a white noise machine, so every clank of a spoon from the dining room sounds like the tolling of a church bell.
Conclusion: Reality bites, you know? But come the next kid, I know I’m going to be just as obsessed about making another damn pom pom garland.